Running a successful childcare business is about much more than providing excellent care and education for children. It’s also about managing a large and dynamic team effectively. For one childcare business owner, however, a growing issue is beginning to take a toll — and it’s not about the children at all. It’s about the adults.
Across two thriving centres with 80 employees and impressively low turnover, the owner has built a culture where people genuinely enjoy coming to work. Managers and educators have formed strong personal bonds, which have created a warm, family-like atmosphere. In many ways, this is a huge asset. But it has also created an unexpected leadership challenge: managers are now avoiding difficult conversations with their team members because of these close personal relationships.
As a result, the business owner herself is having to step in to have multiple tough conversations each week — conversations that should be happening at the team leader or centre manager level. The pattern is clear: when performance issues, miscommunications, or conflicts arise, managers hesitate to address them directly. Instead, they either ignore the problem or escalate it straight to the owner, hoping she will deal with it.
At first glance, this might seem like a small issue. After all, if the owner is handling it, isn’t it getting solved? But over time, the impact on both the business and the owner personally is profound.
The Business Impact
When managers consistently avoid hard conversations, it undermines their authority and the leadership structure of the business. Team members learn quickly where the “real” accountability lies — not with their immediate supervisors, but with the owner. This dilutes the managers’ effectiveness and means they are seen more as peers than as leaders.
The longer this dynamic continues, the harder it becomes to reset expectations. Small issues that could have been addressed with a simple one-on-one discussion often escalate into bigger problems requiring more time, more emotion, and more disruption. It also risks setting a dangerous precedent: poor performance or problematic behaviours are tolerated until they become unmanageable.
Additionally, constant escalation to the owner slows down decision-making and problem-solving. Rather than empowering managers to act decisively and responsibly, the business creates bottlenecks at the very top. In a busy childcare setting where swift action is often required, this can have operational consequences.
The Personal Impact
For the business owner, the impact is even more personal. Having to step in regularly for difficult conversations is emotionally exhausting and time-consuming. These conversations are rarely pleasant, and handling them week after week adds to the mental load of running a business. Instead of focusing on strategic growth, operational improvements, or culture building, the owner is stuck in reactive mode — putting out fires that shouldn’t have reached her desk in the first place.
Moreover, constantly being the “bad guy” can damage the owner’s relationship with her broader team. While managers maintain their friendly, uncritical image, the owner risks being seen as harsh or overly demanding, even when she is simply enforcing professional standards. Over time, this can lead to isolation and resentment — two feelings no business owner should have to endure in a company they built with care and pride.
How to Turn the Tide
Recognising the problem is the first step. The next step is to rebuild the leadership culture among the management team. Managers must be trained — and expected — to have difficult conversations themselves. This includes clear communication training, conflict resolution skills, and, perhaps most importantly, coaching them to understand that being a strong leader doesn’t mean sacrificing good relationships. In fact, strong leadership protects relationships by setting clear, respectful boundaries.
The business owner also needs to make it clear that managing performance and behaviours is a core part of the managers’ roles, not an optional extra. This might mean introducing formal expectations, accountability measures, and support systems to help managers grow into this skillset.
In the long term, tackling this issue will strengthen the centres, reinforce a culture of responsibility, and lighten the emotional burden on the owner. It’s not an easy fix, but it’s a necessary one. And ultimately, it will ensure that the business remains a place where both children and adults can thrive.
Nick Hedges is the founder of Resolve HR, a Sydney-based HR consultancy specialising in providing workplace advice to managers and business owners. He recently published his first book, “Is Your Team Failing Or Kicking Goals – Take Control of Your People & Their Performance”. It is a practical response to the most pressing HR challenges, which can be found at https://resolvehr.com.au/.
Disclaimer: The contents written do not constitute legal advice and do not cater for individual circumstances. The information contained herein is not intended to be a substitute for legal advice and should not be relied upon as such.